The chair

When registering for baby items, a glider was an item that everyone seemed to say was a "must-have."  That's great and all but have you seen the prices for a "nice" glider?  They are ridiculously expensive.  RIDICULOUSLY expensive.  I admit, I put an over-priced glider on our registry.  I honestly didn't think we'd receive it.  
I was right.  
We didn't.  

I did want to find a chair since I knew I'd be in her nursery often to nurse her.  We found a cheap glider at Wal-Mart.  It looks really nice.  But it's not so comfortable.  And it squeaks.  

The other night, I was getting Selah ready for bed.  I changed her diaper.  I put on her jammies.  She was wide awake and quite expressive.  I remembering thinking she is clearly not ready to go to sleep.  So I sat in the chair with her to just be with her.  Those 10 minutes I sat with her were special.  She looked at me with her big blue eyes... and she continued to look at me.  We locked eyes and in those moments, the recent memories of her birth flooded my mind.

Emotions of the immense love I felt for my child began to well up in my heart.  I thought back to the sensation of my water breaking.  I thought back to the numbness I felt in my legs from the epidural.  I thought back to seeing her body emerge from mine.  I thought back to my first attempts to nurse her.  I thought back to lying in the dark hospital room with her next to me, breathing her in.  

How fast it goes.

As we continued to look into each other's eyes, I began thinking of all that has happened in that chair in just the short amount of time she has been with us.

Day time, night time, and anytime feedings
Rocking her to sleep
Singing to her
Watching her learn how to smile
Reading to her
Attempting to soothe her cries
Patting her back to get out a big ol' burp
Caring for her.
Praying for her.
Loving her.

The chair may have been cheap.  It may squeak annoyingly.  It may be uncomfortable to sit in.  But the sweet moments I've had with my daughter in that chair, even in the short 5 weeks she has been with us, are sweet memories I'm storing up in my heart.  

As she gets older, I know the moments will be farther and fewer between that she will want to crawl into my lap to be held, rocked or read to.  I can only hope for moments like that as she gets older.  But for now, I can hold and rock my baby in that chair.   And I am savoring every moment.  

Caleb and I love Sleeping at Last. He's definitely an under-appreciated artist. His music and lyrics are beautifully written.  His newest song brought me to tears as I happened to be nursing Selah as I listened to it.  I'm sure that parents and future parents alike will appreciate the lyrics.  Have a listen.