You might be pregnant if...

There are tons of things happening to a woman's body when she becomes pregnant.  It's quite unbelievable really.  Not only is our little nugget changing week-by-week.  But this mama-to-be is experiencing changes too.  Some fun, some weird, some that are just a pain in the behind.

After only 16 weeks of pregnancy thus far, here is a small list of things I've experienced.  Trust me... there are WAY more but I'll keep it PG.

You might be pregnant if:

1) You cry at the Dixie Stampede.
2) You cry at Hallmark movies rather than making fun of them.
3) You cry at every Hallmark commercial that plays during the Hallmark movie.
4) While in conversation, you go to make your conversation contribution when all of a sudden....wait... what on earth was I going to say?!  The words seem to have fallen out of my brain.
5) You walk to the next room to get.... something... wait... what was I going to get?
6) You see an instagram photo of Sour Patch Kids and immediately the world must stop and those Sour Patch Kids must be purchased and inhaled within the next 5 minutes or someone is going to get hurt.
7) You have inch thick indentations in your skin from your.. *ahem*.. brassieres becoming way too tight.  And it's already on its last hook!
8) You wear wrap dresses and maxi skirts to work because your pants don't fit and you haven't been able to find maternity pants that fit well, look nice, and don't cost $80.
9) You start to feel a small hunger pang but think you can wait the 20 minute drive to get home before you eat a bite.  And then 5 minutes later nausea hits you like a sack of potatoes.  What was I thinking?!  In those cases, eat!  Always eat.
10) You practically kill your husband with the poisonous, gaseous smells coming from your body.
and for now, the last one of the day
11) You think often of your next appointment, waiting ever-so-anxiously to hear that most beautiful sound you have ever heard: your baby's heartbeat.

Entering 2nd trimester

I began my second trimester (13 weeks) with a trip to the doctor's office.  This was our first appointment meeting with one of the doctor's.  And here begins the journey of meeting with a different doctor every time from now till the end in hopes we connect with one and here's to hoping that doctor will be available when nugget decides to come out.  

The appointment was quick with the sole purpose being 1) Hear the heartbeat and 2) Ask questions.

She found the heartbeat pretty quickly and again.... it is the most amazing sound.  I wish I had it recorded so I could listen to it all the time.  What a beautiful sound.  And of course I couldn't think of any questions on the spot and once we left I thought of at least 2.  Funny how that works.

Next appointment will be at 17 weeks which puts us at the week before Christmas.  

Week: 13 and 14 (entering second trimester)

Due Date:  May 27 - Memorial Day!

Size: Nugget is 3.5 inches long and the size of a lemon.  

Nausea:  Around 8pm the queasiness kicks in.  

Aches and Pains:  Sharp pinches here and there

Cravings: 

- Bagels slathered in cream cheese

- Cold milk

- Last night was Chinese

Bump: It's still hard to tell in my outfits because the baby is so low right now.  The doctor said it will begin moving up each week but for now it's still low.  If I had a 2 piece swimming suit on, you'd totally be able to tell!

Movement: Not yet!  Can't wait to feel flutters and kicks though.

Looking forward to: Finding out if nugget is a boy or girl!  January 14 is the big day!

Missing the most: Sleeping well 

                                   13 weeks                      14 weeks

The funny thing is I look bigger at 13 weeks then 14!  Must have had a super-sized breakfast that morning.

And so the posts begin...

I know my family will want to see these updates.  So here the journey begins, documenting the growth and development of nugget and the ups and downs for this mama-to-be!  

Week: 11 (or 10 if you're the ultrasound technician)

Due Date:  Tricky... May 20 is what I'm sticking with 

Size: Nugget is just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig and has almost fully formed. His/her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under his/her gums, and some of the bones are beginning to harden.

Nausea:  None at all for the first 5 weeks then it kicked in during the morning around 6-9 weeks.  I went through a box of saltines pretty quickly.  Recently it has switched to the evenings.  I really can't complain though.  

Aches and Pains:  Just today I felt some pains/pinches in my.... well... womb.  Perhaps it's stretching a bit?

Cravings: Oh boy.  Here we go:

- Watermelon

- Taco Bell - steak quesadilla

- Arby's - plain roast beef sandwich

- Crab meat with cocktail sauce

- Cold milk

(There are a few cravings that hit immediately and I just had to have them or I thought I would die.  I ate them but one time sufficed and now I'm done: Panera breakfast sandwich, steak,  and KFC).

Bump: It shows noticeably when I wear the outfit below.  Everything else covers it pretty well.  But it's definitely there!

Movement: It's the size of a fig... of course I feel nothing yet.

Looking forward to: Finding out if nugget is a boy or girl!

Missing the most: Candy.  I don't want any of it.  But that's totally a good thing.

This photo is me and nugget at 10 weeks (says the most recent dr. appt because that is what nugget is measuring.  However, all calendars point to 11 weeks).  SO.... I'm inclined to say 11 weeks :)

My first pregnancy related meltdown

I've always heard how pregnancy can wreak havoc on your hormones.  I believe I may have experienced my first pregnancy related meltdown.  I've had some moments of being in a sour mood or felt rather short.  But nothing like what I experienced last Thursday evening.

It was rainy when I left work at 4:30pm.  I know exactly where the slowed traffic hits during my commute.  But today it hit early, much earlier that normal which means one thing: it will range from stopped traffic to 5 miles an hour for a long... long.... long period of time.  

Oh boy.. here we go.  I've sat in this before.  I can do it again.  

My stomach began to growl.  Oh no... so far in this pregnancy, when my stomach begins growling, hunger pangs hit hard, they hit fast and they are usually for something very specific.   If I don't eat soon, food is all. i. think. about.

After an hour of stop and go traffic on 294, I got onto 64.  Still a decent amount of traffic but at least it was moving.  Drat... I had to stop and get gas.  It was cold.  It was rainy.  It was windy.  And I was still hungry.  But the only thing I wanted was ...*sigh*... Taco Bell.  

I haven't had Taco Bell in years.  Leave it to being pregnant to crave fast food.  I pumped the gas, hopped in the car and continued the drive to the Taco Bell.  However, traffic stopped.  Again.  Dead stopped.  I was probably 5 miles from my house.  And I knew there was a Taco Bell coming up.  Life would be just that much better if I could just pull in the drive-thru and get my beloved steak quesadilla.

By that point, my emotions began to surface.  I was almost home.  WHY wasn't this traffic moving.  The light is GREEN!  GOOOOO!!!!!!  (It was construction.  Stupid construction).

I lost it.  At that point, my commute was coming up on 2.5 hours.

I had kept my cool for the entire trip.  I couldn't take it anymore.  My steering wheel took a beating.  The cars in front of me were screamed at.  I just wanted to be home in my sweats eating my steak quesadilla.  Was that too much to ask?

Traffic finally moved.  At last... Taco Bell.  But wait.... where's the Taco Bell?  It's supposed to be here?  Why isn't it here?  I'm so hungry!  And yes, I whined and cried those exact words.  I'm sure if someone was there with me they would either be scared for their life because of the crazy lady or trying to hold in laughter because I sounded absolutely ridiculous crying about the Taco Bell not being there.

At that point, I was so angry I gunned it home.  I dragged myself inside.  Sat on our steps and called my mama.  And I cried.  I'm laughing now as I write this.  I sure did feel better after crying and complaining to her.  I guess that's all I needed.  Thanks mama.

My wonderful husband brought me home the best gift: a steak quesadilla from Taco Bell.  It was delicious.  Thanks love.

2.5 hour commute + famished pregnant lady + no Taco Bell where I thought there was a Taco Bell = one meltdown of a crazy pregnant woman.

Although, I'm willing to bet you'd be unhappy too ;-)

Sharing our secret

We found out we were pregnant on Sunday, September 16.  We had to keep the secret for 3 more weeks.  Torture!  I think the hardest part was being careful not to slip.  All I had to do was say the word nauseous and people (like my mom) would start to wonder.  Or all I had to do was be caught looking up pregnancy info at work and the secret would be out.

But... we kept it a secret.  The 3 of us.  :)

My birthday provided the perfect opportunity to travel down to Canton to share the exciting news.  We began to set our plan in motion.  Caleb and I finally decided we were going to tell my family with cupcakes.  It was the only thing I could think of that wouldn't be too obvious.  As the plan furthered, it became even more perfect.  All I had to tell them was that my co-workers brought me cupcakes for me birthday and there was no way Caleb and I could eat them all.  So we wanted to share! 

I had to do a bit of texting the week before because I wanted Michael to be there as well.  As we pulled in the driveway, the excitement went through the roof as not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but all 5 vehicles were in the driveway which meant everyone was there that I had hoped would be there (mom, dad, Michael, Bryan and Stef).  Perfect!

Caleb and I were extremely anxious, nervous and excited.  3 weeks of holding in this secret and we were nervous because we weren't quite sure how our plan was going to pan out.  Here's to hoping!  And let me tell you... it could not have been more perfect.

Grammy had made me an apple pie for my birthday... yum-o!  BUT, the boys had just started a movie. Drat. Hmm.. how was I going to interrupt the movie and get them in the kitchen without it being too obvious?  
A-ha!  I wanted a candle in my pie and I wanted to be sung to.  Now, mind you, this is not normal for me.  I could care less that people sing happy birthday to me.  But it was the only thing I could think of to get the whole family in one spot. 

As soon as I blew out the candle, I gave Caleb the "look" and he went out to grab the cupcakes.  I kept everyone there by telling them how my co-workers made me these really cool cupcakes for my birthday and I wanted everyone to see them and to help us eat them.  
I was shaking.  My face grew hot.  Classic Ashley style, probably began to sweat. Was this going to work??

It. was. perfect.  They all gathered around.  They all squinted and stared at the cupcakes trying to figure out what it said.  And then... the reactions. Watch carefully, my dad figures it out first and you can totally see it when he figures it out.  Love it!

I have watched this video so many times.  I re-play the video in my mind.  And I smile every time.

We proceeded to a wiener roast later that evening since the majority of my extended family would be there.  Perfect!  I took a Bears onesie and simply held it up and they knew immediately.  I LOVE Aimee's reaction!

We knew we had to hit Wheaton on the way home to tell Ray and Bobbi because we certainly did not want the news to leak out.  That same weekend was the Spoon River Drive.  So we told them we had picked up some gifts for them on the craft drive as a thank you for all the support and gifts they had given us for the house.  Ray's gift was a Bears onesie and Bobbi's gift was a picture frame of a few photos of Caleb and I sharing the news.  Again, same physical reaction, got shaky, felt anxious, aahhh!  But Bobbi's reaction is hilarious!

There ya have it folks.  Sharing this news was something I had dreamed of for a long time.  And sharing the news was every bit as wonderful as I had imagined.

Two little pink lines

The anticipation was more than I could stand.  It felt like eternity as we waited 3 minutes, hoping to see two pink lines.  Having already taken 3 pregnancy tests the week before, none of which provided a definite answer “yes”, my thoughts were racing.
“I just know I’m pregnant…” “I haven’t started my cycle yet… I know I am!”  “But the other tests were negative…” “What if this test says negative too?” “Could we be parents today… this very moment?”

The longest 3 minutes of my life were up.  It was time to look.  Shock. Awe. Joy. Disbelief. 2 pink lines.  2 PINK LINES.  2 pink lines = pregnant.

It is hard to even describe how I felt in that moment.  Tears streamed down my face as I had waited for this experience for a long time.  I had tried to imagine what this moment would be like.  I was filled with sheer joy knowing a teeny tiny miracle was growing inside of me…. Followed by the sheer fear that a teeny tiny miracle was growing inside of me!  Holy cow.

I will not go into all the detail in writing because it’s all in the videos posted.  But I had not planned on Caleb being with me when we found out.  I had initially wanted our pregnancy to be a surprise to him.  But it was actually very sweet that he was there.  In classic Caleb style, he remained calm.  He remained calm because the reality of a baby growing inside of me that very minute had not at all sunk in for him.

I grew up in a family where we videotaped just about everything.   You name a life event and we probably videotaped it.  Naturally, having things videotaped are quite important to me.  Being able to look back on that video after 10+ years brings such joy to my heart.  This milestone had to be taped!  

Moments after seeing the 2 lines, I said “Get the camera!  Get the camera!”  Caleb grabbed the video camera so we could get as much of this experience on camera as we possibly could.  The following video opens a window into the first 2 minutes of us finding out we are going to be parents. 

This second video is where I go into more detail of what had happened the week prior leading up to the positive test.

Our first ultrasound is this Monday, October 22.  This is the appointment we will hear our son, or daughter’s heartbeat for the very first time.  I tear up just thinking about it.  I am blown away by the miracle of a child.  I often look up websites to see what’s happening to nugget this week (that is what we’ve nicknamed the kiddo).  He/she is so incredibly small right now but the development that is happening is unbelievable!  An absolute miracle. 

I feel overwhelmed with this gift.  I have thanked God so many times that he has chosen me to be a vessel to grow this gift and that He is crafting him/her and forming him/her right this very moment.  What a beautiful picture.

While my heart is filled with joy for our little miracle, my heart also remains heavy for those who have not been able to conceive.  The joyful side of me wants to shout it from the rooftops.  But the sensitive side wants to be  respectful and grieve with those whose hearts yearn for a child but have not yet experienced the miracle for themselves.  My heart does ache for you.  May the Lord hear your cries and as 1 Samuel says, “grant your petition.”

I will be honest.  The dreaded “M” word does creep into my mind.  I have known so many people who experience the “M” word with their first pregnancy and I think that fear is natural.  There are people who will advise not to share the news of your pregnancy until the 2^nd trimester just so the chances increase of delivering a full-term baby.  I see the value in that.  Why cause yourself the heartache of sharing happy news, only to have to share bad news later.  However, I once heard someone say something to the effect of, complications could happen at any time in a pregnancy.  But right now, I AM pregnant.  And I am joyful NOW and I want to share that joy!  I am not going to live in fear of what could happen.  Right now, there is a living and growing child within me.  And I want to celebrate that.

I have clung to two verses over the past month and have read them over and over again.  They are penned beautifully and they mean more now than they ever have before.
1 Samuel 1:27-28
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.  Therefore, I have lent him to the Lord.  As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

I am 9 weeks, almost 10 (on Monday).  The first trimester is week 1-12.  It’s crazy that I am almost entering my 2^nd trimester already!  I guess it’s easy for the first trimester to fly by when you don’t even know you’re pregnant for the first few weeks.

Anyway, that is our story.  Thanks be to God alone.  All praise and glory given to God alone.  This is His child.  I am honored that He has chosen Caleb and I to be this child’s earthly parents.  This is truly a gift.  This is truly a miracle.  We are thrilled and absolutely ecstatic to be able to meet our little nugget this May.

May the journey continue.

This whole moving thing is ca-ra-zy

First off, let me start by saying how incredibly thankful we are to God, our Provider for leading us to a HOME.  Yahoo!  Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!  Space!  No noisy neighbors!  Space!  Kitchen counter!  Yard!  Space!  Yippy!

    

Second, let me continue by saying how incredibly thankful we are to our friends who selflessly called and texted saying "When do you need help moving?"  They graciously helped pack up the truck and all their cars (when our rental proved to be a size too small, whoopsies!) and then once again, lugged it all into our home.  We will definitely be hosting a thank-you party in the near future.

It was boiling hot when the guys loaded up the truck at our apartment.  I felt so bad for them as sweat dripped off of them!  They were just about finished squeezing everything into the truck when the rain came.  Temperature relief!  But it POURED all the way to house... to the point where I was definitely nervous for Caleb as he was driving this big truck.  But we made it safe and sound :)  

Thanks to Bobbi for cleaning my fridge!  And thanks to Bobbi and Jess for bringing food for those who helped!  So sweet of them!

Now... good grief, who knew this whole moving thing would be so intense!  I can see now why moving is such a pain to people who have experienced it before.

The thing that's getting to us the most is the ever growing to-do list.  Once upon a time, the list was small.  The small list included tasks like changing the locks, mowing the grass, unpacking.   Tra la la.  The end.

A-ha!  No.  We have quickly come to realize that in order to accomplish A.... a whole new list of A1, A2, A3, A4 must be done first.  So, our once small to-do list has grown exponentially and it's beginning to be enough for my little head to explode.  Tra la la indeed. 
Don't worry, I will not bore you with our to-do list.  I grew up in a home where the honey-do list never ended, so I know you all know what I'm talking about.

Where to even start?!  

I ended the first moving day with a nasty headache and proceeded to crawl into bed at 9:30pm completely beat.  The next day we decided to pick one small battle with every intention of beating it: putting our clothes away and setting up the furniture in our bedroom.  We accomplished that goal: Roger Kieffer would be proud (TIU moment folks).

Although we needed a break for lunch!  Thank you to my mother-in-law for the sloppy joes and salad - much needed!

I'll post updates and pics as we continue making progress.  What is on the agenda for this weekend you ask?  Well... hold on to your hats!  Attacking the house, inside and out, with bug spray killer.  No creepy crawler shall pass!

Home sweet home

Well... we did it!  We nervously met our lawyer, nodded our heads at a bunch of mumbo-jumbo lawyer jargon while signing 50 bajillion papers within the contract, and excitedly yet cautiously accepted the key... the key to our home.  

Really?  So, we just take the key and we go?  Yes, you take the key and you go.  We left the lawyer's office and drove to 720 Lexington Avenue, pulled in the driveway and stared up at the house which was now our house.  We felt like a couple of 7 year olds on Christmas morning.

We walked in the house.  It's completely empty of course.  

We laughed.

We danced.

We squealed and jumped up and down.  Ok... I squealed and jumped up and down.

We took a nap on the floor.

We picked up a pizza and ate it in the dining room, sitting on the floor of course.

We are now back in debt.... "debt up to our eyeballs" as my boss would say.

I can't believe it.  It still feels so surreal.  It will be really weird when we go to the house on Saturday with ALL of our things and STAY there.  So many times we have traveled to St. Charles but had to leave to return to our apartment.  But not this Saturday. 

I will post more pictures of the move and all the helping hands but for now, welcome to our home!  

For those who have asked for the address:

720 Lexington Avenue

St. Charles, IL 60174

Let the packing begin!

It's for real this time!  We're moving!  And soon :)  No more checking Redfin everyday for new house listings.  No more walk-throughs.  No more pros and cons lists.  We have found our home, finally!  
It has been a year-long process but we're finally weeks away from moving into our home.

This past April we began walk-throughs of homes we were considering.  Ironically enough, the house we're moving into, we actually looked at on during the first batch of walk-through and didn't think twice about it.  To be honest, none of the homes screamed "This is it!  Pick me!" but once the price dropped drastically on one, we thought, "Hmm... we could live there!  Let's take a second look."   

Long story short, we prayed about it, the appropriate doors closed, one door seemed wide open and we felt really good about making an offer.  After all, we were the only ones who had been on a second walk-through.  It seemed good as done.  We made an offer and awaited anxiously to hear back on a counteroffer.    Much to our surprise, a second offer had been made the same day.  Really?!  ... wait... seriously?!  The same day?  There were no other interested buyers on the radar!  I had never felt so nervous.  We thought this was to be our home, we felt led to this home, what in the world was God doing?!  
We were shut out of the offer, our Realtor was given no explanation, they denied our offer and went with the other buyers.  

I was heartbroken.  I was angry.  I felt confused.  I thought we were following God.  I thought the door was open.  It seemed so clear... were we blinded?  Why did it feel like God was misleading us?  What was He trying to teach us?  It took awhile to get over the loss of that home.  
As silly as it sounds, it felt like we had just been broken up with.  We were head over heels in love and then got blindsided by "Oh, wait, I actually don't feel the same way, I love someone else, see ya!"  Ouch.

But.

God knew.  God knew we'd be upset at the loss of that home.  God knew I'd doubt him.  God knew the home he would have for us.  I'll be honest.  I can't tell you how many times I heard the phrase, "God has a plan for you." and I wanted to scream "I KNOW but right now, I just want to feel angry because I AM angry and I AM hurt and I AM confused."

Since then, I've dealt with my anger towards God.  I did feel misled.  Of course that is absurd.  God doesn't mislead... He guides... perhaps in ways or timing we aren't expecting.  The whole time, all He asks is that we trust.  And I failed.  But a learning experience nonetheless.  

We went on about 20 walk-throughs.  We went back for a 2nd visit to 720 Lexington Avenue, a charming home, in a charming neighborhood, in the charming suburb of St. Charles.  Did I mention it was charming?
The price had dropped and our attention perked up.  Remember, we had looked at this house the very first time we went on walk-throughs and we didn't think twice about it?  But when the price dropped... it quickly  peaked our interest.

We looked a 2nd time.  Made a pros/cons list.  Prayed.  We felt good about it.  Great about it!  But nervous at the same time because last time, as you recall, we got burned.  Would the same thing happen this time?  I kept the house at an arm's distance as not to get hurt as badly if the negotiation went sour.  After negotiating back and forth a few times, within 2 days from the time we initially offered, they accepted!  Hallelujah!  Seriously?  For real?  Are you sure?  

July 30: closing date
August 3: last night at 1201 E. Prairie Brook Dr. Apt C2, Williams Reserve Apartments

I cannot even express how excited we are!  We are incredibly thankful and have learned a valuable lesson in trusting that the Lord will lead and guide, even if our original plan was skewed.  God's plans are best.  And God knew all along.  He knew the tears would come, he knew the anger would come, he knew the happiness would come, he knew the trust would be restored.
Praise God.

Let the packing commence and the journey begin!

Facebook was my anchor, and not the good kind.

Ashley's Facbook account
2005-2012
Facebook was being checked more than 10 times a day out of pure habit.  Facebook had evoked emotion and a side of me I didn't care for.  Facebook had become an idol and a source of feeding my inner jealousy and pride.

My decision to delete my Facebook account is not temporary.  It is permanent.  And I feel great about that decision.  This decision was made because of personal convictions.  Allow me to expound.  This is not to make you feel guilty.  This is me spilling my ugly sin.  If I happen to encourage someone to examine their own heart, then praise God!

Allow me to be candid, this is not to offend; this is my perspective and my story.
I believe, the world we live in craves the need for affirmation and self-worth.  But most of the time, we are feeding that need through all the wrong sources.  That is what Facebook became for me.

Whether it's done subconsciously or purposely, why do you think people post pictures, statuses, updates?  Perhaps a part of it is to keep the family and close friends updated.  But I believe it's deeper rooted.
Again, whether it's done subconsciously or with purpose,  I believe people desire to have others want what they have.
Why?  It makes you feel so good when people comment on your beautiful wedding, on the amazing and expensive vacation, on your new house, etc.
People crave affirmation.  May I go so far as to say, there's maybe even a little satisfaction in knowing you make others a little jealous because of what you have.  (The comments that flood your Facebook page are a good indicator of that).

I found myself becoming jealous as I consciously scrolled through hundreds of photos.  "Man... that's what I want.  If only I had what they have, I'd be happier."  And then to make it worse, the flip side... I did find satisfaction in reading everyone's comments praising whatever "thing" I had posted.  I wanted them to be a little jealous of what I had because that told me that something I had in my life, was coveted by another.
Affirmation in all the wrong places - check
Pride - check
Jealousy - check

WHOA!  Not ok!!  I am not ok with that, not even a little, tiny bit!  It hit me like a ton of bricks one day.  I have checked Facebook almost every day from 2005-2012.  7 years of my life I have devoted to Facebook.  What has it given me in return?  A bouquet of roses.  Beautiful, bright, fun, but filled with thorns ... and they die quickly.

Sin.  It brought upon sin that needed to be squelched.  And step #1 to squelching that sin was cutting it off at the source, hence, the decision to delete my Facebook account.
So... that was a lot of junk I just spilled to you.  Am I embarrassed?  No.  Because I would be shocked if I was the only who felt this way.  Am I ashamed?  I'm ashamed I let something like Facebook be the source of feeding these growing sins, and for so long!  BUT, not ashamed enough not to say anything.

My affirmation and self-worth comes from the Lord.  And that's why I chose to delete it...  to focus on who I am in the Lord and to grow in Him.  If I didn't cut Facebook loose, the anchor tied to my feet would eventually hit rock bottom.  I was headed there.  But I cut the anchor loose and kicked with all my migh to the surface.  I'm at the surface now.  But the next step is swimming to shore.  It will be tiring and hard.  But as I pass through each wave of jealousy, each wave of pride, and with each wave of seeking my self-worth in the Lord, I'll make it one wave closer to shore where I can rest in the arms of Jesus.  What a glorious time that will be.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's ok to be affirmed and to desire affirmation, afterall, it's a love language!  There is nothing wrong with needing to hear affirmation that you're doing things well, or to appreciate it when people notice how nice you look when it took you a long time to get ready.  That's great!  It just became a problem for me when the craving became sin. 
So... I guess to keep in line with the premise of this entire post, if you would, only post comments on my blog if you agree, disagree, if the Lord lays something on your heart, or if it has spoken to you.  I DO want to know if I'm striking a chord with anyone.  I'm asking as a sinner who is trying to climb her way out of the pride and jealousy pit, please don't stroke my ego further.
P.S.
Don't be surprised if you stumble upon my other Facebook page... you'll probably be tempted to think I'm a hypocrite or liar... but please know, it's for work purposes only as it's important I have a Facebook page to connect with my students on their level.  So if you friend request me on my work page, don't be offended when I don't accept it.

Parenthood

Caleb and I had a mini-date night with homemade pizza and a movie.  We neHEver drink pop.  But last night we made an exception as we both were desiring the tingly goodness of good ol' Coke.  There's something very vintage about Coca-Cola that makes it that much more enjoyable to sip on.

As we ate our pizza and sipped on the ever sugary Coke, we popped in the movie 'Courageous'.  We've heard lots of good reviews and thought it was time to watch it.  It was really good and definitely got me thinking.

Being a parent is an incredible responsibility... a responsibility that is a gift as well as a charge to be a godly example.  It really puts Joshua 24:15 in perspective, "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." 

It's easy to be a good parent when your little ones obey, tell you they love you and snuggle with you.  But how do you continue to be a good parent in the moment when conflict arises, voices are raised, more time is spent outside the home than in it, laziness creeps in, etc. 

I know the movie 'Courageous' is aimed towards fatherhood but it got my wheels turning as well.  How will I be a good mother to my children?  We don't have children of our own yet but we have been working with 3 year olds at church. Not at all the same, I know.  But hear me out. 

Something I've noticed is quality time and words of affirmation are precious to these 3 year olds and they crave them desperately.  

"Teacher, will you play with me?" 

"Teacher, will you read this book?"  

"Teacher, look at my picture!"  

"Teacher, look at my dress!"

Time spent with our children is crucial.  Time spent being honest and open, time spent asking them what their opinions are, time spent doing their favorite hobby, time spent teaching them about God's truths... I am seeing that this is crucial to building a solid foundation with your children.  

What strength from the Lord it must take to accomplish this crucial responsibility of being a godly parent.  The movie just got me thinking... food for thought this morning.  I know that if and when the Lord decides to bless Caleb and I with gift of children, that we will be seeking out godly advice from people, books, etc and we'll be expecting answers :)  So be prepared :)

Tastes unhealthy, looks disgusting, pour me a glass!

This is definitely worth posting.  Thanks to the wonderful world of Pinterest, another fantastic recipe has been floating around the web as of recent.  They call it Green Monster Spinach Smoothie.  I don't know how this person figured out the combination of these ingredients but they totally work.

How healthy are we?!