Selah’s Birth Story part 3

“Dad, you take that leg.  Mom, you take that leg.”  It was so informal.  They didn’t have them sanitize themselves.  They didn’t put on scrubs.  Caleb and my mom were there, in the moment, in their regular clothes, each holding a leg for me to brace myself against as I started the journey of pushing my daughter out.

About 1:30am, I began pushing.  All my worries and concerns about pushing quickly evaporated.  I listened to the nurse.  I followed her guidance.  I listened to Caleb, my mom and the nurse cheer me on and with each affirmation and encouraging word, I found the strength to push with all my might.  

The pressure I was feeling were contractions.  But instead of pain, it was merely the strongest pressure I have ever felt in my life.  To keep it PG but explain what I mean further, imagine the sensation of needing to relieve yourself of the biggest bowel movement of your life.  Every couple minutes, that sensation would arise again and that was my cue to push.

In between contractions, the labor nurse started chatting about her kids, her life, etc.  It was humorous really.  There I am, spread eagle, Caleb and my mom holding my legs while I try to catch my breath before the next contraction and nurse Katie is telling us about her kids.  I have no idea what she said.  Quite frankly, I didn’t care.  I was in my own zone.

After 45 minutes of pushing, the doctor came in.  This meant I was nearing the end.  So close!  With every push, I shut my eyes so tight… somehow that made me feel like I could push harder.  “See her head?  See it?!”  I opened my eyes and saw the top of my daughter’s head starting to protrude, making its way into our world.  

I reached down and touched the top of her head.  Weird.  Surreal.  This was the first time I was physically able to touch my daughter and the majority of her was still inside of me!

“One more big push… come on Ashley… you can do it.  Ready, go!”  

I pushed with all my might.  Her entire head emerged.  Oh. My. Gosh.  The rest of her body quickly followed suit.  Once her head was out, the rest of her literally slipped right out.  

An immediate sense of physical relief.  An immediate cry left the lungs of my daughter.  An immediate skin-to-skin contact took place between me and my daughter.  They placed her on my chest.  I wept.

She is here.  She is actually here.  Our daughter… Our child… Selah Grace.
Born May 15, 2:26 am. 6 lbs 10 oz. 19 inches

A lot was happening around me.  But none of it fazed me.  I was captivated by my daughter.  She stopped crying as she lay on my chest.  We lied there, breathing in each other, soaking in the miracle that had just occurred.  It is hard to put this moment into words.  But it is a moment I will never forget as it is imprinted on my heart.

Caleb and my mom were right there the entire time.  They were my support team and did a fantastic job.  I could not have done this without them.  They were both able to witness this baby girl inch her way into this world.  Amazing.

They took her over to the incubator to begin the APGAR test and to weigh her.  As I rested, I looked over and watched as Caleb bonded for the first time with his daughter.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I watched him as he offered Selah his finger.  She grabbed on, so tightly.  I watched as Caleb gazed into his daughter’s eyes, not for one minute taking his eyes off her.  I watched as he spoke gently and softly to her as she whimpered from the cold air.

I loved him before.  But I have experienced a new level of love for my husband after experiencing the birth of our daughter, together.  I don’t know how else to explain it other than I love him even more deeply than before, which I didn’t think was possible.

I will say this.  Honest as honest gets.  I wish we could go back to the AT&T store and start the exciting events of that night all over again so I could re-live my labor and delivery.  I enjoyed the entire process and wish I could do it again.  Since this experience cannot be exactly duplicated, I am left with the vivid memories of that night.  I replay them often in my mind. 

7 hours of labor.  1 hour of pushing.  It went smashingly well (from what I hear… I have nothing to compare it to!).  It was the fastest 7 hours of my life.  

Eventually, my dad and in-laws joined us.  Caleb introduced them to Selah and I saw the love in each of their eyes as they held and loved on their brand new granddaughter… a very sweet moment for me.

I loved carrying, laboring and delivering Selah.  I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.