Have to.

I have joined the blogging world.  Unfortunately, I have made this a more difficult process than it needs to be.  The perfectionist that I tend to be, screams to never "release" this blog until it is absolutely perfect.  I have to pick the perfect background that highlights my personality.  I have to come up with a clever and catchy title that draws in readers and leaves them wanting more.  I have to choose the perfect pictures that display a fun filled, adventurous life.

This is a result from viewing everyone else's blogs.  Everyone else is creative.  Everyone else has a cute theme.  Everyone else has the perfect format.  I have to join this club too!  Well... I think I have to.  Wait... do I?

Aren't women funny?  We want to copy each other.  We want to stalk the way other women decorate their homes.  We want to know what books they're reading and how they grew spiritually so we can only hope to feel the exact same, otherwise we question the depth of our spirituality.  We want to  read their blogs to the very last word, dissecting their verbiage and attempt to write with such beautiful descriptions as they do.

Aren't blogs supposed to be about each individual person, their personal stories, their quirks?  I can't write about my son climbing on the table in attempt to "Superman" off and spending the night in the Emergency room.  I can't write about picking out 30 swatches of paint for our living room until we find just the right tint of pale yellow.  I can't write about backpacking across Western Europe in an attempt to find myself in an adventure of a lifetime.

I can write about my life.  And I can let go of the crazy woman drive to be just like everyone else, while attempting to do it just a bit better.  I have to.

How do I plan to accomplish this?

Picking out peacocks.  Peacocks are my favorite animal.  They are vivid, beautiful, and unique.  This title is a challenge to myself.  To find the vivid everyday...to find the beauty everyday...to find the unique everyday... especially in those moments when I start to long for other peoples' lives.  When I see their seemingly perfect put-together lives, that's when I hesitantly and ashamedly, look down at my broken, bruised, torn self, and begin down the road of picking apart everything I am.

I have to let go that extreme pull of picking out all the things I'm not happy with in my attempt to perfect them.  For all you "Reba" fans out there... in the words of Van Montgomery, "Letitgoooo!"

My blog won't be perfect.

My home decor skills won't be perfect.

My cooking skills won't be perfect.

My life won't be perfect.

So as I begin this new journey through the blogging world, I am learning very quickly that I can let go the instinct to be just like everyone else, who appear to be perfect.  Because I know, and you know, that they're not perfect either.  I choose to find the unique in everyday, even with all the imperfections.  I'm picking out peacocks.  I have to.