I'm not sure you know me. I mean, I know that you know me. But I don't think you KNOW me. Up until a couple years ago, there was a lot that I didn't know or understand about myself. To be fair, I'm sure it's safe to say that not many of us really knows the other person, no matter if they are a friend, family member or co-worker. It's not common for most people to wear on their sleeves the ins and outs of how they tick. But if you're willing to "bare all" and share with others what does make you tick, it can sure be insightful and even helpful.
So. Allow me to talk about myself. Well really, it's more of an assessment on "Who is Ashley" and "What makes her tick?" which I think is helpful to share with people. So, get ready for the low down on all that is Ashley. The 411. The play by play.
Now... I can be an open book. But it takes a special situation for me to become just that... an open book. I think that's a tendency of most introverts. More on that in a bit.
At my previous job, we took personality/behavioral tendency tests very seriously as it became an important part of our jobs, how we relate to each other and how we can best utilize everyone's strengths.
Have you heard of the DISC test? Here's a brief snippet on the 4 personality styles:
D - Decision (director)
I - Interactive (socializer)
S - Stabilizing (relator)
C - Cautious (thinker)
When I took the test last summer, I scored dead even as a high S, C. What exactly does this mean? Here are some words used to describe a high S, C person:
S - Patient, predictable, passive, complacent, stable
C - Cautious, perfectionist, systemic, careful, analytical
That means I scored really low as a D, I. Some words to describe someone who is a low D, I are:
D - Agreeable, mild, conservative
I - Withdrawn, matter-of-fact, reflective
Does any of that sound familiar to you when you think of me? It's pretty dead on accurate.
I also err on the side of being introverted. I do need social interaction from time to time. And I also enjoy really solid, fruitful conversation. I would feel utterly alone if I didn't spend time with people. However, too much interaction is exhausting and overstimulating; the best way for me to recuperate after a major social event is to curl up in bed with a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie either by myself or with Caleb.
To you extroverts, that may make your hair stand on end since extroverts tend to need to socialize and are energized by it. Most of the time, it drains introverts like myself. If you want to learn more about what constitutes as an introvert or if you're curious if maybe you fall in that category, take a look at this article. It's super helpful and interesting!
At my previous job, we also took a test on the 7 Dimensions of Value and Motivation. I scored super high in Aesthetic, Regulatory and Economic. Now, what the heck does that mean?
I could write forever on this. After all, I have a 71 page report on yours truly that the Senior Vice President of Enrollment Management went over with me last summer. Yea... I told you we take this seriously. But to pick through the fluff and to condense paragraph after paragraph, chart after chart, takes a while. Remember... I'm a high C :-)
Anyway, the areas I scored high in through the Value and Motivation test are:
Aesthetic - a drive for balance, harmony and form
Regulatory - a drive to establish order, routine and structure
Economic - a drive for economic or practical returns
Is this new news to you? It might be! It was news to me. Once you learn your strengths, it's extremely helpful as you can 1) better utilize them within your job or any other area in your life and 2) so you can learn what other's strengths are which helps to better understand why they are the way they are which can help alleviate tension. In other words, it helps to turn being annoyed by the differences into appreciating the differences.
It's easy to be annoyed with someone who is polar opposite of you.
It's so annoying, she's WAY too detailed... It's so annoying, he is ALWAYS late... It's so annoying, it takes her FOREVER to put structure to and verbalize her thoughts. Spit it out sista!
But here's the thing. When you start to learn the ins and outs of those behavioral tendencies, it helps to understand that person a little better and to "cut them some slack." After all, they're just being who they are! Think about it. If we were all laid back, we'd have a world filled with people who could never get things done. Or if we were all Type A, we'd have a world filled with go-go-go people and the stress level would be through the roof.
The great thing about us all being so different is that we balance each other out. Hmm... I think God knew what He was doing when He created us. Don't you?
Just last week, Caleb and I were talking about the 5 Love Languages. We took the test when we were engaged but decided maybe it was time to take it again to see if anything has shifted. On a scale from 1-12, here is how I ranked:
10 Quality Time
9 Physical Touch
5 Acts of Service
3 Words of Affirmation
3 Receiving Gifts
I may be an introvert but I'd much rather spend quality time with a few close friends rather than have small talk with 20 random people (read that above article on introverts!) Also, some of you may know how I feel about physical touch. You might be staring at your screen, jaw dropped thinking "Nuh-uh! She does not have physical touch as a top love language!" You're right. It ranked high because the test was taken in regards to how I most feel loved when my spouse does this or that. So with Caleb, yes, physical touch ranks high. But with others.... you are in my personal space buddy. Back up. Step off. And in the words of Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove, "No touchy!" Sure I'm over exaggerating just a tad. My co-workers gave me such a hard time about never wanting to be hugged because SO many of them loved giving and receiving hugs. And I mean LOVE. It seemed to them that giving/receiving hugs was like opening a beautifully wrapped gift on Christmas morning that exploded with glitter, unicorns, rainbows and cotton candy. To me, that anticipated awkward hug at the end of a social event with acquaintances would bring on enough anxiety to last a life time.
The funny this is, I hate taking personality tests. Want to know why? It's because I tend to see things black and white. I hate the gray area. The gray area overwhelms me. My brain rejects it. I need things to be either this or that, here or there, all or nothing. So when I hear the word personality test, a part of me, ok, a huge part of me begins to feel anxiety. Why freak out? Well, it's because how could these tests possibly be accurate when half the time I feel I could circle all of the options on these tests! Some days I feel like answer a but tomorrow I could feel like answer b.
Hmm... I guess this is just another part of who I am... again with the high C. Remember some of those high C trigger words? Cautious, perfectionist, systemic, careful, analytical
None of those adjectives go well with directions that say "select the answer the best describes you."
Did you learn something new about me? I hope so! Maybe now things make more sense, they do to me!
Now that I've rambled on A LOT about myself, I will close the "scientific" portion of this post (what the tests say about me). I'll list a bunch of fun facts and weird quirks about myself in Part Deux. Maybe you'll learn something about moi you didn't know before!
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