Two years ago today Caleb and I exchanged vows to be husband and wife, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, through the good and the bad. We stood at the alter all googly eyed for each other and overwhelmed with excitement that we were actually doing this.... we were actually going to tie the knot. Forever.
I think wedding vows are written to be shallowly realistic. They typically highlight all the godly things your marriage should reflect and purposely leave out the real truths. Who wants to hear all the real stuff that marriage entails at a beautiful wedding ceremony? You're in a boat load of trouble if you're standing at the alter thinking you're spouse can do no wrong and that marriage is a walk in the park. Here's why. You will be quickly disappointed.
Marriage is a bit more than that and certainly entails plenty of realistic notions you typically wouldn't want to bring up in your vows. Although, I think we should start spicing up wedding vows and highlight the truths.
1) Men and Women are different as night and day. You say potato and he says potawto. Every time.
2) Compromise. Excuse me? What? Yes, compromise. No matter how silly or serious, compromise comes up in marriage. Think about it. You are taking one life and smashing it together with a completely different life. You will undoubtedly do things differently. Take a slice of humble pie and compromise or let go entirely. Don't make mountains out of mole hills.
3) Disagreements and Arguments. Noooo. Really? You argue with the love of your life? The person you would do anything for? See #1.
4) Communicate. You literally have to spell things out. On both ends. I, as a woman, tend to read into Caleb's action, tones, words, or lack of, completely different than what he meant. And ladies, no matter how long you've been married, your husband still doesn't know what you're thinking. Crossed arms, tight mouth, icy glare will clue him in your angry about something but he will undoubtedly say "Soooo you're mad.... about what?" You have got to tell him!
5) Expectations. As hard as it is, try, really try, not to go into your marriage with expectations. They will be shot down in an instant leaving you feeling disappointed.
6) Comparison. Again, this is super, duper, extremely difficult. Again try, really try, not to compare yourselves to the Jones's. Don't compare your marriage and don't compare your things (apartment, wedding gifts, decorating styles, etc). This is a sure way to upset your spouse as well as become a Debbie Downer. Be content and more so, joyful and thankful for where you are at with each other, since your marriage is all you should worry about.
7) Marriage is work. Wait... what? Work?! I work 40+ hours a week already! I seriously have to work in my marriage too?
If you want a solid marriage, one that is founded in Christ, constantly being cultivated, you've got a lot of constant work to do. However, that work is extremely gratifying as you will have a much happier marriage that is pleasing to the Lord.
Believe me, there are 101 ways for Satan to slither in and slowly rip apart the holy sanctity of your marriage. After experiencing each one of the above 7, I know that Satan can and will use each of those. Be on the lookout for those fiery darts and protect your marriage with everything that you have.
And now, a quick looksie at what Caleb and I did today to celebrate year 2!
Breakfast at Egg Harbor Cafe in Wheaton
Devotions and prayer at the top of a hill in Danada Forest Preserve in Wheaton
Stopped at Starbucks in downtown Wheaton for Caleb's free birthday drink! We also walked around downtown Wheaton, sat in the sun at the park and of course stopped at the Popcorn Shop and got our fill of .05 and .10 candies!
After our excursion to Wheaton, we came back to Palatine and played tennis. We came home and fixed dinner together. This recipe turned out amazingly well! I'll be sure to share it!
What is on the docket for the rest of the evening?
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