What would I tell a friend?
Yes, just like the WWJD 90's fad, except it's longer, not easy to say at all, and isn't a fad.
Numerous times I have affirmed friends when she has felt down about herself or questions her feelings, her reactions, or is beating herself up for any number of things. So why is it, when I have those same feelings, have poor reactions, or beat myself up, I find it near impossible to affirm myself in the same manner?
How can I so easily extend grace to my friends and truly mean it but withhold that grace from myself, when it's the exact same situation?
Every day there seems to be a new battle that rears its ugly head. I lost patience with Selah. I didn't get the laundry done like I had hoped. I left the house a wreck knowing it would bless my husband to have it picked up before he came home. I felt irritated. I chose to watch TV instead of doing my Bible study. I feel unmotivated because I'm not creative or fun or laid back as some of my other mom friends.
The world we live in, especially through the social media outlet (Instagram, Blogs, Pinterest, Facebook, etc), is a dangerous realm that merely has to show you one single photo or one single caption that will make you question your entire being.... as dramatic as that sounds... it's true.
That mom who bakes everything from scratch.
Her kids are always smiling.
She lost all her baby weight immediately.
She can get her baby on a nap schedule.
She has perfect hair and the cutest clothes and is always put together.
She's super spiritual and her Instagram photo of her Bible and verse caption make it clear she's got it altogether with God.
She and her husband are always laughing and having dates and must be head over heels in love and ne-hever go to bed angry.
All these things and more are in my (and all other women's) faces.... constantly. And it's enough to make you feel like a huge failure. The unfortunate reality is that people aren't huge fans of showcasing their failures all over social media. We want so badly to make it appear we have it altogether. And for what reason? To simply make us feel better... to push aside the parts we really dislike about ourselves... fear of being vulnerable... because who in their right mind could extend any kind of grace or be understanding and nonjudgmental for all the ways I've failed today... because I certainly can't grant myself any grace. It's unfathomable.
But the funny thing is... I have realized time and time again how simple it is to encourage a friend when she texts sharing a rough moment. I want her to see her value. I want her to see her worth. I want her to realize all she has on her plate and that it's unrealistic to expect herself to have x,y,z completed by the end of the day. Grace. Give yourself some grace, girlfriend!
But ohhhh how difficult it is to do the same for oneself. Thankfully, we have a great example of the best grace giver to ever exist.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
So the next time, I begin to be overly hard on myself for whatever reason... I want to ask myself "What would I tell a friend?" and then tell that to myself and accept it for myself. And in that same breath, remember that God's grace is more than enough and even more so, it's through my weaknesses that His power is exemplified.
Tough stuff though, eh?
