I love being able to say she, her, daughter. There's a new level of bonding I'm experiencing from simply knowing "it" is now "she". Plus, the fact that she's moving and kicking quite frequently only helps with the feelings of her being even more real now.
It may sound odd to hear that. But when you're not showing all that much and you aren't feeling any movement, you know you're pregnant but it's different. You know there's a baby in there but there isn't much evidence yet. But now that she is moving all the time, her "realness" has become even more tangible, if that's possible.
Caleb and I wanted to find out the gender for two reasons:
1) To be more prepared with physical items
2) Mainly to pray specifically for him/her. We want to really dive into prayer about our child and praying for a boy is different than praying for a girl.
We went in for our appointment last week really anxious. I laid down on the super uncomfortable table, she squirted the cold slimy gel on me, asked "Are we finding out today?", we responded with "Yes!", and within about 5 seconds, the technician said "It's a girl!"
I was shocked she found it so quickly and was even more shocked that we had just found out! It was kind of like being socked in the stomach with the news. But in the most wonderful and loving way possible.
Caleb and I were really surprised but again, in a great way. I had assumed for most of my pregnancy we'd be having a boy. And then a couple weeks before the ultrasound I started thinking.... maaaaaybe.... it cooooould be a girl. Hmm.
The rest of the appointment went well. Baby girl was sitting breech during the appointment (which 30-40% of babies at 21 weeks sit breech, in case you were dying to know). Because of her position, her little feet and hands were completely covering her face so she was unable to get a 3D shot of her face which was quite disappointing. But we got a really cute shot of her little foot and her cute little toesies. The technician found her little nose and lips and it was literally like we were looking at a photo of her, it was that clear! But we didn't get a print out of that :-(
My sister-in-law, Sarah, just recently had her first, also a girl! She wrote in her blog about their experience finding out the gender of their baby the moment she was born. I found it fascinating at her thoughts about how in the moment they met their daughter, overjoyed obviously, there was also a moment where they had to say goodbye to the son they had been equally prepared to meet but never existed. I had never thought of it like that and interestingly enough, I feel that loss as well, and I'm only half way done.
We have had a name picked out for a boy for years now. We were dead set on a boy's name and in the months leading up to the special appointment, we wondered if "blank" was growing inside of me. We didn't have a clue on a girl's name until just recently. So interestingly enough, there is a weird sense of loss for the "other" child that actually never even existed but you prepare yourself for in a sense. I mean there's a 50/50 chance for either! The technician was positive that she's a she. Let's hope she's not mistaken, otherwise we'll have A LOT of things to return.
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